Just For Kicks
by TheStarr
Summary: I just sorta came up with this one day, things happen when I'm bored :P This came straight from my wildly out of control imagination, and is not in any way diluted by plot, nor purpose, in any shape, form, or fashion. Hope you have a good laugh, I did :D
1. Turtle Mania

*Disclaimer: Anything you recognize is _not_ mine, anything you _don't_ recognize _is_ mine.

Note: This story started one day when I was going through fabric, looking for some that would make a good cloak, and I was having a hard time finding something the right color, and I came across this garishly bright fabric (as described in the story); as a joke, I pointed to it and said "I'll make my Ranger's cloak out of this!" (one of my brothers had asked me what I was looking for earlier) My brothers aided and abetted me, so some things came from _their_ wacked up imagination, not _mine_. And in no way do I intend to insult the characters, nor their turtle (or turtel) fighting skills.

And now, I give you:

**_Turtle Mania!!!_**

"HI!" A young girl in a garishly bright cloak piped cheerfully. Halt and Will jumped;

"Aaah! Where'd you come from?! And with that horribly garish cloak that provides absolutely no camouflage, how did you get so close without us seeing you?!" Will exclaimed, seeing as she just _appeared_ so close to him that she was almost touching him. Halt remained calm and as grim looking as ever.

"Oh, yeah; that's because I got a sorcerer to enchant it! The only problem is, is that horses, and ponies, and donkeys, and mules, and hinnys, and all equines can smell magic, and to them it stinks; so I can't ride one because they won't get near me if they can help it!" The Rangers just stared at her; Tug sneezed, and backed away; Abelard just looked at her in disgust.

"Then how do you get around?"

"I had him enchant it so I can FLY!!! Wanna see?" Without waiting for an answer, she took a running start and jumped. Off a cliff. Will winced;

"What a way to die."

* * *

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" A blur of bright yellow, pink, lime green, and neon orange streaked by. Will's jaw dropped; Halt remained stoic. They watched as the blur looped-the-loop, spiraled, twisting and turning, and finally diving, landing in front of them. Dizzily, she staggered around, trying to maintain balance. "Was that cool, or WHAT!" Will fell over, Halt just raised an eyebrow, then helped Will get back on his feet.

"How-who-what-where-why-" Will stammered.

"Oh, yeah; and I want to know what I have to do to become a Ranger's apprentice!" She squealed, "Eeee! Could I be _your_ apprentice!" She pointed at Halt.

"NO. NOT. ON. YOUR. LIFE." Halt replied shortly. She scowled,

"WHY NOT!!!! I'd practice really hard, and I'll do everything you want me to without complaining _once_!" She glared; "Or are you discriminating against me because I'm a _girl_ and thus am inferior?!"

"Like you have any skills that would be useful; so far you've been way too loud, obnoxious, and overall: PSYCHOTIC!" Halt answered crossly.

"Of _course_ I have useful skills!!!! _I_ can catch _turtles_!!!!!!" Halt and Will looked at her incredulously.

"WHAT!!!!! What good is _that_!!!!! THAT'S A TOTALLY USELESS SKILL!!!!! THAT'S NOT EVEN A SKILL AT _ALL_!!!!!" Halt exclaimed; he looked very intimidating. Not that it had any affect on _her_.

"It is where _I_ come from." She said, "Crazy Araluens." she mumbled under her breath.

"What did you say?"

"Oh, nothing." She said offhandedly, "Anyway, where I come from, Turtlers make _tons_ of money."

"Why? They can't be all that hard to catch, and they certainly aren't rare." Will commented, still incredulous.

"_Because_, certain kinds of turtles are delicacies; they _are_ harder to catch than you think; and some species are _very_ rare, and/or hard to find. Here, I'll show you." She pulled a pouch off her belt; opening it, she stuck her arm in up to her elbow and began rummaging around. "Where is it, where is it..." She mumbled, "Ah!" She pulled out a snapping turtle as big as a platter.

* * *

"That's HUGE!" Will exclaimed.

"Oops, wrong one." She scratched her head, "How _did_ he get in there? Oh well." She tossed it to the side. "Turtle, turtle; I need a turtle..." Reaching back inside, she started rummaging again.

"Um, wasn't that a turtle?" Halt pointed out.

"No, that was a tick. All right, that is IT!" She opened the pouch all the way; "No more games!!!" She shook the bag. "MASTER OOGWAY!!! GET OUT HERE _RIGHT NOW_!!!" A large, green striped head poked out, "Come _on_ Oogway." After looking at her, the rest of the turtle slowly emerged. Will's jaw hit the ground; even Halt looked mildly amazed.

"How did that thing fit in there!" Will looked from the ginormous turtle, who was three feet across if an inch, to the palm sized pouch.

"Oh, it's enchanted too. So's most of my Turtler equipment." She said with a shrug, "Now, this is an gibberalatran turtle, and one as small as he is would bring..." She stuck her arm in her pouch and felt around. "...at least this much." She finished as she strained to lift something out of the bag. "Uh, a little help, please? Oh, never mind, I think I got it." With a grunt, she managed to pull whatever it was out of the pouch; which turned out to be a bag at least as big as the turtle at her feet. Suddenly, a seam split and gold coins started pouring out. "Arg!" She quickly shoved the half-empty bag back into the pouch. "NO! BAD MASTER OOGWAY!" To Halt's amusement, the turtle was eating whatever gold he could reach, and it had already eaten about half of what was there. "NO! NO! NO!" She began beating the turtle with her fists, but the turtle paid no attention to her. "You know, in order for me to get that back, I'm going to have to cut you open." The turtle's eyes got big, then it started puking up gold. "Ewww! Now there's turtle slime all over it! Oogway, one of these days.." She let the threat hang in the air; pulling out a towel, she used it to stuff the rest of the gold back in her pouch. Halt wondered briefly how someone as young as she could have so much gold;_ If Erak ever hears of someone earning so much just by catching turtles, her country's going to have an influx of Skandian immigrants before too long..._

"Is that as big as they get?" Will asked, curious.

"Wha? Oh, he's nothing." She answered, indicating 'Master Oogway'. "Now, if you want to see a bigger one..." Pulling a black, shimmery glove on as she talked, she balled her hand into a fist and shoved it into the pouch; when she pulled it out, her fist was in the mouth of a turtle that was half again the size of the one at her feet. Grabbing the edge of the glove, she peeled it off her hand, stretching it over the turtle till it was completely covered, she then pulled her hand out of the turtle's mouth. With the turtle now inside the inverted glove, she tossed it toward Will, pulling the glove off it as she did so.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" With a WHUMP, the turtle landed on him.

"WILL!" Halt cried out in alarm, pulling out his saxe as the turtle proceeded to attack Will.

"Oops..." She muttered, as Halt struggled to remove it from his former apprentice. Pulling the glove back on, she stuck her fist back in the dreaded pouch. "And even that one's got nothing on _this_." She commented, just as Halt managed to pull the turtle off of Will. She pulled a small, very furry turtle out. "Oh, yeah; I forgot I had this one." It not only had fur, but teeth and a snarl to match. "This is a wereturtle; it got bit by a wolf, so it's quite a handful. Especially on the full moon." She pitched it to the side. _Halt's_ jaw hit the ground when she pulled the next turtle out.

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Halt and Will screamed in unison.

"This is an antarctic turtle; very rare. Their wool makes the warmest and softest fabric, which neither rain, nor sleet, nor wind, nor snow, nor hail can penetrate." With a shell big enough for Halt or Will to stand up in (if it were just a shell), it was the largest, and most unusual turtle either of the Rangers had ever seen; covered from head to tail in greyish-white wool, it looked like a mound of snow. "Here." With an even bigger **WHUMP**, this one had the unfortunate circumstance to land on Halt, or rather, Halt had the unfortunate circumstance of having it land on him.

"Can't. Breathe-" Halt gasped.

"HALT!!!!" With saxe in hand, Will lept at the beast.

"What's going on? We come to pay you a visit and-" The voice broke off as the speaker came into view, and saw the turtle. "By the Three Gods, that's- that's-"

"Gargantuan." Gilan finished for Erak; then they noticed who was under it.

"HALT!!!!" They exclaimed, leaping forward, weapons in hand, to the aid of their friend.

"HALT!" She said, stepping in-between them and the turtle.

"Yeah, that's what we said; that turtle's killing him!" She rolled her eyes;

"No, halt as in 'STOP', sheesh." She glared at them. "And, it's not a turtle, it's a turtel." They just looked at her.

"SO! What difference does that make!"

"A _turtle_ is a boy, a _turtel_ is a girl." She explained, exasperated.

"It's still killing him!" Gilan bellowed, pushing past her.

"She's hungry!" She yelled, stomping her foot.

"YEAH! WHY _ELSE_ WOULD IT BE TRYING TO EAT HIM!"

"NO! SHE EATS CERTAIN KINDS OF _METAL_!!!!" She shrieked, "PRECIOUS METALS ARE HER FAVORITE!!!" She was quite right; Halt went into a frenzy when he noticed the turtel was trying to eat his silver oak leaf.

"(~insert word(s) of your choice here~)" Halt swore; to his amazement, the turtel flinched. At least, that's what he thought; until he noticed that the turtel's attention was focused on the barrage of gold coins that were pelting it's shell. Erak watched incredulously as the girl threw away perfectly good gold, bit by bit drawing the turtel off of Halt; he was _sure_ she was using more than necessary. The turtel followed the trail of gold right back into the pouch.

* * *

"That was close." Gilan murmured, sheathing his sword; Will was trying to revive Halt, and Erak was still gawking at the girl.

"How did you- where did you-" Erak pointed at the pouch on the girl's belt, "Gold."

"Yeah, it's her favorite." She commented, not understanding what he meant.

"No, I mean-" He growled in frustration; "Where did it all come from, and why did you feed it to the turtle." He moaned. "What a waste!!!"

"First of all, that was a _turtel;_ I got all that gold from selling turtles I catch, and I fed it to the turtel so that Halt wouldn't die. If he died, then I wouldn't have a mentor." Halt came to with a start.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" He jumped up and started running away. "NONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Will tackled him;

"You're going to over exert yourself, Halt: BE STILL!!!!" Will commanded.

"Oh, you wouldn't have to put up with me very long; how long could my training take? Surely no more than a few months." They all looked at her; "What?"

"It takes five to six _years_." Gilan, Halt, and Will said together. Her jaw hit the ground.

"WHAT?!!!!! But I have obligations!!! I'm booked for the next TEN YEARS!!!! I have only year off to be trained as a Ranger!!!! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!!!!!!!!!" She fell to the ground and beat it with her fists.

"Too bad." Halt said spitefully.

"Wait!!! Can I train part time! Oooo! And I can teach you to catch turtles!!!!" She said excitedly, sitting up.

"AAAAAAA!" Halt lept at her.

"EEEEEEEK!" She zoomed upward, out of Halt's reach; Gilan and Erak stared. Underneath her, Halt was jumping up and down, still trying to reach her.

"Halt, think of the possibilities! Think of the gold-" Erak broke off when he saw Halt's eyes. "Umm, well: could _I_ train you to be a, er, Skandian? Part time, of course. I'd do it gladly." He asked her. She looked thoughtful,

"I won't teach you to be a Turtler, I only threw that in because I _really, really,_ want to be a Ranger; but being a Skandian could be fun. Would I get a helmet with horns on it?!!!"

"Sure; if you teach me to be a Turtler."

"Hmmm; are you good at sneaking around?"

"Yes." Halt, Gilan, and Will started to shake with suppressed laughter; "Hey! I'm pretty good for a Skandian!" Erak said defensively.

"Really? You make bears seem stealthy." Halt pointed out, sides shaking.

"Well, then I'll just have to stick with option number one." She declared. Halt looked at her apprehensively,

"Which is?"

"Training part time to be a Ranger." She answered, turning to Halt; while she was distracted, Erak made a grab for her pouch.

"Hey!" She began pummeling him with her fists.

"OW!!!" He dropped the pouch and stepped back. She bent over to pick it up, and a small black head poked out.

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" She shrieked, jumping ten feet backwards and hiding behind a tree; seeing his chance, and not understanding the danger, Erak lept forward and scooped up the pouch.

"YES! It's mine!" The small black turtle that had fallen out when he picked up the pouch began to hiss threateningly. "Awww; look at the little turtle. Or is it a turtel?" He looked questioningly at the girl.

"Um, you might want to back away _very slowly_ and _very, very quietly_." She cautioned.

"Huh? Why? This little guy is so cute." He bent over to pet its shell.

"That's kind of a _very dangerous_ breed of turtle; only experts go after those kinds. I only catch turtles as a hobby." Something in her voice made him freeze just before his fingers touched the turtle. "_That turtle __breathes__acid_."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" He jumped backward quickly and ran for the cover of the trees. The noise and sudden movement irritated the little turtle; "AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Erak screamed again, sounding very much like a girl; he barely managed to dodge the foot wide stream of acid. The Rangers decided now was the time to creep off silently.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" They screamed as they headed for the trees. They hit the dirt just in time to avoid being incinerated.

"_WHEN IN TROUBLE, OR IN DOUBT; RUN IN CIRCLES, SCREAM AND SHOUT!_" The girl shouted, rolling to one side as the tree she had been hiding behind was reduced to nothing. "_IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO STOP IT!_" Bursting from cover, she began to run in erratic circles around the now extremely irate turtle, screaming and shouting. The turtle couldn't turn fast enough to keep up with her, so the acid kept missing her. Will shrugged, then ran to join her, closely followed by Gilan; Halt hung back, timing the spurts of acid to make sure that there was _no possible way_ for that stupid little turtle to get him (imagine: 'Today we morn the loss of the greatest Ranger that ever lived; defender of Araluen, slayer of Wargals and Kalkara, defeater of the Temujai, whom all bandits feared; slain by a turtle.'), then he joined in. Sure enough, the streams of acid started to come less frequently as the turtle got dizzier and dizzier; soon they stopped all together.

* * *

"Got him!" She shouted triumphantly, snatching him up and quickly stuffing him in a small bag that looked like it was made out of the same material as her special glove. Tying it securely shut, she put that bag inside of another bag, and put that bag inside of another bag, and put that bag inside of another bag, and put that bag inside of another bag, and put that bag inside of another bag, and put that bag inside of another bag, and-

"ENOUGHT ALREADY!!!!" Everyone shouted at the narrator.

"It's not _my_ fault! _I'm_ not the one that wrote it!!!" The narrator screamed back.

"Okay, it's securely locked, I mean bagged, up." She said, shoving the very large and lumpy lump into her pouch.

"Is it safe to come out now?" Erak asked, sounding very much like a frightened child.

"Yes; he's been taken care of." Erak crawled out from under a large, half melted by acid, rock. The clearing was bigger now, thanks to the acidic turtle; half melted trees, bushes, and rocks were everywhere. Halt, Will, Gilan, and the girl (we must continue to call her thus, since the authoress never gave her a name) were in fairly decent shape, despite the emotional trauma that had been inflicted upon them; Erak looked like he'd been badly singed by flying acid, wait, he had been, hadn't he?

"So, can I be your apprentice?"

* * *

I enjoyed writing this, and it was easy to write (since it had no plot or anything remotely like it) I hope you got a good laugh out of this :D Btw, "when in trouble, or in doubt; run in circles, scream and shout" is something my grandad says a lot, and I thought it would be fun to put it in a story.

Oh, and I _do_ have a turtle named Master Oogway, but he's not anywhere near as big in RL, and it was one of my brothers who added him into the story. He is also the guilty party who brought _all_ of the turtle related stuff into the story (like the whole turtle catching bit, as well as the acidic turtle.) But most everything else is mine :P

Now, back to writing on my other fanfics...


	2. Running Amok

*Disclaimer: anything sane isn't mine :P

ONWARD!

**_Running Amok_**

Halt was sitting at one of the picnic tables at the Gathering, calmly fixing himself a ham and pickle sandwich (don't ask _me_ how the picnic tables got there!) when he heard a gasp;

"GASP!!! You're out of mayonnaise!!!!" Guess who.

"AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! HOW DID YOU GET HERE!!! HOW DID YOU FIND THIS PLACE!!!!" Halt bellowed, grabbing the girl by the shoulders and shaking her.

"I followed you! I _am_ your apprentice after all!" She exclaimed cheerfully, grinning. Halt let go of her and fell to his knees;

"Why? What did I ever do to deserve this!" Halt cried out, looking up at the heavens.

"HEY! I didn't have anything to do with this!!!! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU!!!!! _I DIDN'T WRITE IT!!!! I'M JUST THE NARRATOR!!!!!_"

"Umm, okay; let's get back to the story." The girl said, rolling her eyes.

"Where were we? Oh yes." The narrator mumbled; "Halt was out of mayonnaise."

"WHAT THE **BEEP** IS MAYONNAISE?!!!!?!" Halt shrieked,

"OMG! That's right! He was out of mayonnaise!" She screamed, "Oh no! My mentor must have some mayonnaise! Help us Mayonnaise Dog!!!"

**insert theme music here**

**Faster than a squirt of mustard! Redder than a splotch of ketchup! Is it a rabbit? Is it a frog? Better watch out! It's MAYONNAISE DOG!!!!**

"SAY _WHAT_?!!!!?!?!!!!!!" All the Rangers within hearing shouted in unison. All of a sudden, a red blur came streaking through the trees; when it finally stopped , hovering in the air over the picnic table, in an awesome super hero costume was a red dog with a docked tail, tan eyebrows, green eyes, and white markings on it's face that made it look like it had mayonnaise on its snout (aka: a red-tri Aussie).

"Mayonnaise Dog! You heard me!!!" The girl squealed,

"Oof, oof oof oofoofoof oof, ruff bark bark, hoooooowwwwwwlllll!" Said Mayonnaise Dog (who we will now refer to as MD; writing 'mayonnaise dog' every time takes to long :P )

"Really! That absolutely _wonderful_!!! Congrats!!!!" She shrieked;

"Wuff wuff WUFF!" MD replied, landing gracefully on the table.

"Right! Anyway, so, you see; Halt, my mentor, was making a ham and pickle sandwich, _but he doesn't have any mayonnaise_!!!!" MD's jaw dropped and her eyes looked like they were going to fall out of her head. "You _HAVE_ to do something Mayonnaise Dog!!!!" In response, MD leapt across the table to Halt's sandwich and began licking the bread, with short, quick strokes.

"HEY!!!" Halt bellowed, reaching for MD to fling her off the table; he stopped dead when he saw what MD was doing, "She's licking the- and-" His face turned a sickly shade of green; you see, as MD was licking the bread, mayonnaise was appearing on the bread. Halt looked seriously ill as MD finished that piece and moved on to the next, leaving a perfectly even coat of innocent looking mayonnaise.

"Oh gross..." Halt moaned, " That dog just-" He was unable to finish this sentence due to the fact that he could no longer keep the contents of his stomach where they belonged. The bread, ham, pickles, and MD got soaked in you-know-what. Since Halt had eaten a hearty breakfast, as well as a having seconds and thirds on dinner last night, lovely chunks of partially digested food were everywhere. Guess what happened next? MD (being a dog, after all) began to consume everything. Halt took one look and up-chucked again, much to the delight of MD; Halt collapsed and lay prone on the ground, moaning.

"Uh! Halt! Now you need more bread!" The girl complained; pulling a rag from her infamous pouch, she proceeded to clean the table. "Here; Mayonnaise Dog, let's try this again." She said, laying out two more pieces of (fresh, not puked on) bread. As MD began to spread mayo on the bread, the girl looked around; all of the Rangers in sight stood frozen, in the middle of whatever it was they had been doing (eating, making sandwiches to eat, about to eat, etc.) and they all kinda looked the same, sickly shade of green as Halt. Shrugging, the girl noticed that MD had finished, so she pulled out some (fresh, not puked on) ham and pickles, and finished making Halt's sandwich for him, then bent to help him to his feet.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!!!!!!" Halt shrieked, crawling/scrambling out of reach.

"Come on! I made your ham and pickle sandwich for you! Aren't I a nice apprentice?"

"_**NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_"

"That was a rhetorical question!!!" She screamed back, and began chasing him around in an attempt to catch him so that he could eat his sandwich. _Which I made especially for him; so as to be courteous to me, his apprentice, he should eat it to show his appreciation !!! _ She thought angrily.

"Hey! Mayonnaise!" Everyone (including all the Rangers, their apprentices, their Ranger horses/ponies, MD, the 127mil gnats that were circling the picnic tables, the 379 frogs that were watching the 127mil gnats, the 284 snakes that were watching the 379 frogs that were watching the 127mil gnats-)

"_**ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_"

"Okay, okay! Geez! _**I'm**_** not the one that wrote it**!!!!"

Anyway, everyone turned to see Crowley (who hadn't seen the whole 'MD licking the bread and mayo appearing on the bread and Halt up-chucking twice' episode) holding Halt's ham and pickle sandwich.

"Mmmmm!" He said, taking a bite; "This is really good!!!"

Every single Ranger, apprentice, gnat, frog, and snake threw up simultaneously (the Ranger horses/ponies would have too if it were physically possible) and the Ranger horses/ponies all fell over, gagging and choking. And so it continued in a vicious cycle (more like a ridiculous cycle) because MD (being a dog) was running around like crazy, feasting on all the you-know-what; Crowley calmly finished the sandwich, unfazed. When he finished, he looked around, puzzled at all of the sick Rangers and apprentices.

"What happened to you?"

* * *

"Where did that little nitwit get off to now?" Halt groaned when he sat up and looked around; "I'll kill her! I'll kill her if it's the last thing I do!!!!" People were still staggering around the campsite, which reeked to high heaven, and Halt was going to make that girl pay. As if on cue, a commotion broke out near the horses:

"HEY! WHERE'D THE HORSES GO!!!!"

"WHERE'S TUG?!!!"

"WHERE'S BLAZE?!!!"

"HAWKEYE'S MISSING!!!!"

"WHERE'S SWIFT?!!!!"

"_**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_" In a trice, Halt was on his feet: he just _knew_ that the girl had something to do with this.

* * *

"We've looked _**everywhere!**_ Where could she have gone with a herd of _**over FIFTY horses!!!**_"

"Halt, exactly _**how long**_ has this girl been following you?!"

"How did she get here?"

"How did she _**find**_ us?!!!"

The air was abuzz with questions that no one had answers to, and Halt was about at the end of his rope. Not that he carried much rope with him anywayz.... Suddenly, the air was filled with the sound of thundering hooves:

"_**KOWABUNGA DUDE!!!!**_" With their heads up and eyes wild the Ranger horses/ponies streamed into the camp, and out of the mob came-

"_**YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_" Halt shrieked, lunging toward the girl as she swung down from Abelard's back. "_**NOW, YOU DDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!**_" It all happened so fast; later, those asked said that all they saw was a blur of movement and heard: "EEEEP!", "AAAAA!", and _WHU-THUD._

Everyone gaped in shock, their jaws on the ground, at the sight before them: the girl flinching away, her hands over her face peering between her fingers; Halt, on the ground on his side, his arm raised to fend off his attacker; and Abelard, ears pinned and teeth bared standing betwixt Halt and the girl.

"Did you see-"

"Can you believe-"

"How did-"

"Why-"

"I don't believe-"

"_Abelard, how could you?_" Halt's broken voice broke through the hubbub of voices; Abelard ducked his head, looking abashed.

"I'm his friend, _and_ your apprentice; he couldn't just let you kill me." She said, peering under Abelard's neck; "And besides, my untimely death would haunt you; you wouldn't be able to fall asleep at night, and if you did, you would hear my screams in your dreams." _Holy moley moo cows!_ Halt thought, _She's right: then I'd never be rid of her!!!! She'd come back to haunt me!!!_ The horror of what he had almost done struck him, and he began to cry:

"Oh Halt, don't cry; I'm still here!" The girl sobbed, falling to her knees and flinging her arms around him.

"_**GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!**_" Halt bellowed, pushing the girl over; "_**I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO MY HORSE, BUT-**_"

"All I did was give him a few treats and talk to him nice: he's very lonely and would eventually like to find a nice mare and settle down to raise a family, but he knows that his work is important so he won't abandon you." As she spoke so matter-of-factly, all of Halt's momentum vaporized:

"How do you know that?!" She rolled her eyes;

"I have a way with animals, especially horses; people usually avoid me." At this, someone of to the side snorted and mumbled "Gee, I wonder why."

"I heard that!" She snapped; "Anyway, you really should probably talk to him more; he feels left out and unappreciated." Halt lifted an incredulous eyebrow, but reached over and scratched Abelard's favorite itchy spot, just in case she was right.

"But you don't know the pass-code, so how did you get him to-"

"-let me ride?" She finished for him; "Simple; I gave him some of my Skittles!"

"SAY _WHAT?!_"

"_Skittles!_ Do you mean- GASP! _**YOU'VE NEVER HAD SKITTLES?!!!!!!**_" Her hands flew to her mouth; eyes wide with shock, her brain tried to make sense of this new discovery. "Well, that's too bad, isn't it Abelard?"

"Snort!!!" Abelard replied, shaking his head and making a face.

"There there; it's okay." She crooned, pulling a handful of coloryful round objects and offering them to the horse.

"Wait-" Halt began, but he was too late; Abelard had already snatched them up and was now licking her hand clean.

"Um, what exactly were those?" Will asked worriedly;

"Skittles, duh." But no one was listening to her; you see, Abelard was now striped many different colors, and they (meaning the colors) kept shifting and changing.

"_**WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HORSE?!!!!!**_"

"I _just told you;_ _**SKITTLES!!!**_"

"_****_" Halt shrieked, falling dramatically to his knees and putting his face in his hands. However, no one was paying attention to him, cuz now Abelard was glowing, not to mention the fact that his hooves were several inches off the ground. They (meaning all the Rangers and their apprentices) watched in shocked silence as the girl vaulted onto him bareback and struck a heroic pose;

"_**FOR PEACE, LOVE, AND GINGERSNAPS!!!**_" She shouted, her very voice calling forth courage and the desire to eat gingersnaps from the hearts of all that heard. With a gallant neigh, Abelard leapt into the sky and galloped through the air off over the horizon, leaving a very prettyful rainbow behind.

And it rained Skittles and gingersnaps.

* * *

_**TA-DA!!!!**_

**For those that are waiting for updates on my other (meaning sane) stories**_**, **_**my characters all went on strike**** (aka, writers block) and I'm still working things out; hopefully I'll have updates ready by Christmas :D**

**Happy laughing ;)  
**


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